I'm a Wizard.

kookydad: uter-fist: weloveshortvideos: when a baby is crying...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:41:12 -0400

uter-fist:

weloveshortvideos:

when a baby is crying in the background and you use slow it down on snapchat

FUCK

this is my favorite post on this god forsaken website

everytime i fucking see this i lose my shit

saltheartedbarmaid: kane52630: madejlesbian: “i made a kid cry...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:36:32 -0400

saltheartedbarmaid:

kane52630:

madejlesbian:

“i made a kid cry we’re going to hell”

One of the rare times Eric Andre broke character

“I don’t even like talking to people in the daytime” me too, Hannibal

dannydino11: Okay maybe mama did raise a fool

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 00:43:17 -0400

dannydino11:

Okay maybe mama did raise a fool

fencer-x: stimman3000: https://instagram.com/p/BgUcZgKAcKd/

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 00:35:48 -0400

fencer-x:

stimman3000:

https://instagram.com/p/BgUcZgKAcKd/

gardentechgodgnostic: katjohnadams: localgays: updatepls: sup...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 00:09:30 -0400

gardentechgodgnostic:

katjohnadams:

localgays:

updatepls:

supermegafoxyawesomehotnot:

cosima-wants-the-d-elphine:

story time.

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.” And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

I’m actually crying

fandomsandcountriesinthetardis: the-asexual-emperor: squeaky-fan...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 00:06:31 -0400

fandomsandcountriesinthetardis:

the-asexual-emperor:

squeaky-fangirl:

darning-socks:

((The ability to appreciate and evaluate human aesthetic is not determined by your sexuality))

THANK YOU

Reblogging at the speed of light

“Aw what a cute cat!”

“What I didn’t know you were attracted to animals!”

lesre: seriousjones: a centaur, but the human part is replaced with the front half of lightning...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:12:18 -0400

lesre:

seriousjones:

a centaur, but the human part is replaced with the front half of lightning mcqueen

homoboyfriend: one-time-i-dreamt: I was in a tattoo parlor and Rihanna came in wearing bell bottom...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 18:03:55 -0400

homoboyfriend:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was in a tattoo parlor and Rihanna came in wearing bell bottom jeans, chuncky heels and no shirt. When I asked her where her shirt was, she looked me in the face and said, “Oh hun, today is a titties out kind of day.“

The anger I felt when I saw the url is… indescribable.

Video

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 18:01:02 -0400

im-the-batmann: gar-dev-oir: What the fuck did my own two...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 17:58:43 -0400

im-the-batmann:

gar-dev-oir:

What the fuck did my own two eyes perceive on this day??

Video

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 17:57:57 -0400

whitepeopletwitter: Bad cop

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 17:44:44 -0400

whitepeopletwitter:

Bad cop

edg3ydaddies: mapsontheweb: The food each U.S. state hates the...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 11:32:33 -0400

edg3ydaddies:

mapsontheweb:

The food each U.S. state hates the most.

gaycism:Lmao I’m screaming. This will be me if I ever have...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:58:56 -0400

gaycism:

Lmao I’m screaming. This will be me if I ever have grandchildren.

rosalindfranklinsnotes: leonardodespacito: I SCREAMED THIS WAS...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:56:35 -0400

rosalindfranklinsnotes:

leonardodespacito:

I SCREAMED THIS WAS SO FUNNY

my desperation level

shaollinfantastic: me: ok i’m gonna shut up about this now me 5 mins later:

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:56:05 -0400

shaollinfantastic:

me: ok i’m gonna shut up about this now

me 5 mins later:

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:54:28 -0400

simonxxjeremy: Me: watching a show, casuallyShow: teases a Gay RelationshipMe:

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:52:59 -0400

simonxxjeremy:

Me: *watching a show, casually*
Show: *teases a Gay Relationship*
Me:

lord-kitschener: drkarayua: mastergir: the fucking slapping...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:52:44 -0400

lord-kitschener:

drkarayua:

mastergir:

the fucking slapping noise is incredible

This is unsettling.

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

miyku: battle royale games in a nutshell [x]

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 23:56:07 -0400

miyku:

battle royale games in a nutshell

[x]

I'm a Wizard.

kookydad: uter-fist: weloveshortvideos: when a baby is crying...

saltheartedbarmaid: kane52630: madejlesbian: “i made a kid cry...

dannydino11: Okay maybe mama did raise a fool

fencer-x: stimman3000: https://instagram.com/p/BgUcZgKAcKd/

gardentechgodgnostic: katjohnadams: localgays: updatepls: sup...

fandomsandcountriesinthetardis: the-asexual-emperor: squeaky-fan...

lesre: seriousjones: a centaur, but the human part is replaced with the front half of lightning...

homoboyfriend: one-time-i-dreamt: I was in a tattoo parlor and Rihanna came in wearing bell bottom...

Video

im-the-batmann: gar-dev-oir: What the fuck did my own two...

Video

whitepeopletwitter: Bad cop

edg3ydaddies: mapsontheweb: The food each U.S. state hates the...

gaycism:Lmao I’m screaming. This will be me if I ever have...

rosalindfranklinsnotes: leonardodespacito: I SCREAMED THIS WAS...

shaollinfantastic: me: ok i’m gonna shut up about this now me 5 mins later:

Photo

simonxxjeremy: Me: *watching a show, casually*Show: *teases a Gay Relationship*Me:

lord-kitschener: drkarayua: mastergir: the fucking slapping...

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

miyku: battle royale games in a nutshell [x]

simonxxjeremy: Me: watching a show, casuallyShow: teases a Gay RelationshipMe: